Celebrating loss: A life lived with happiness and positivity cannot be remembered only with grief

By Geetanjali Vikram Kirloskar

I lost my husband Vikram on November 29. As he breathed his last, I stood numb by his ICU bedside. Our daughter, Manasi, was holding his hand infused with IV. It was sudden, most unexpected. Over the days that followed, there were prayers, and visits from many who shared their experiences and love.

Finally, it was over. The condolences and the mourning. Only the grief stayed. Every simple routine activity brought back memories. I decided a week afterwards that I will resume work and take charge of life. But it’s the hardest thing to do.

Especially when you have lived 39 years with a man who had so many facets. A brilliant mind. He enjoyed opera, wine, history, manufacturing, geography, sailing. He could passionately work on the shop floor in the day and return home to cook a gourmet meal for his wife and daughter. The day’s recipe, unique to suit the palette of that evening!

Vikram built his stature over time. He did not pursue philanthropy as an act of charity. He lived giving every moment of his life. Even beyond the wallet. Despite such extensive and intensive involvements, Manasi and I never felt neglected. He was always there, physically or digitally, to share little experiences through the day. Birthdays, anniversaries, golf wins, everything was celebrated.

Vikram genuinely believed in gender equality. He had great admiration for successful women across professions. And he carried this sensitivity to the home as well. He wanted me to be myself, evolve in my own unique way, enabled me to become the person I am today – confident and independent. He would smilingly introduce himself as “Geetanjali’s husband”!

Our daughter Manasi was at the core of his being. His love never overwhelmed or pressured, it was quiet but strong. Steering her towards her goals compassionately.

Vikram’s warm demeanour was the way he viewed the world – with happiness and positivity.

I have stopped mourning for my husband. I don’t want to remember him with grief and negativity. Else, he will frown from the heavens above. Yes, there is deep pain, but this is one loss that can be soothed with celebration.